Going on a date is a trying experience for everyone. There are nerves on both sides of the table and everyone trying to figure out how to make a good impression. For us there are few things that are always bound to happen at some point on a date. We want him to like us and have this idealized view of how a good date should be. Here are 15 things that we women have done on at least one date.
1) Agonize Over the Menu
So for men looking at the menu probably consists of finding what looks good and ordering it. For us it’s no doubt that every menu option is analyzed. Is that one too expensive? If I order that cheeseburger with extra bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches instead of bread is he going to think I’m a pig? Maybe I’ll just order a salad…but then I’ll be hungry later, and I know he’ll notice if I order three slices of chocolate cake for dessert, you know to share.
2) Try and Be Stylish
On dates we look completely different than the way we do at home. If 90% of our wardrobe is jeans and Family Guy T-Shirts, we’re going to wear our one fashionable outfit or go shopping for at least the first date. We’ll go to that makeup store in the mall and get tips on how to actually apply that stuff with the brush and look our best. Even for women who are typically stylish there’s a desire to do just a little bit better for a date.
3) Worry About What to Say
For some dates the comfort and ease of conversation comes easy. But for others there is a thin line between what to say and what topics are off limits. We all know not to talk about exes or sob stories and yet is it too much to reveal your boy band obsession or the fact that you own 8 cats? Will he find my job boring or does he think I talk too much?
4)Look For Clues
If it’s still early in the relationship we’re judging everything, even if we told ourselves we’re going to keep an open mind this time we’re looking for things to judge. Did he wash his hair? Does he talk nicely about his family? Did he talk too much about his mother? We want someone we’re compatible with and won’t give us more drama than we need, so at least once we’ve all hunted for some clues to our date’s personality.
5) Try to Avoid Silence
Silence is awkward, it’s almost as awkward as talking about your ex-boyfriend’s prowess in bed in order to fill the silence. On dates it always feels like everyone around you is talking and having a great time and then we’re sitting in silence, makes the date feel like a failure. So we try and fill that silence, sometimes with things that make the silence infinitely better by comparison.
6)Look for the Spark
I blame Disney for this one. We all want to feel it and we want to feel it often. That giddy little feeling in the pit of our stomach that lets us know this is still going good. So on every date we look for moments when that little feeling should appear or we try to create extra romantic moments for it to appear. If its date four and that feeling still hasn’t shown up then we know it’s probably not going to.
7) Update Their Friends
Okay so yes using the phone at the dinner table is rude, or during drinks or really during any part of the date. But if you need a way out or you just need to tell them how great it’s going or to vent, updating the friends has happened. Although the least obvious is to use the bathroom excuse and then do it there so you’re not sitting at the table staring at your phone instead of him.
Yep whether it’s nerves or the fact that we really think that flipping our hair back ten times during the same conversation makes us look confident and sexy, we all fidget. The more nerves about the date the more fidgeting. If we really like the guy then we pull out all the stops to get rid of the nervous energy and end up looking like we’re being shocked every two minutes.
So it’s going bad, really bad. So bad that you’re pretty such Godzilla charging down the street would be a vast improvement. So we’ve all done it, come up with the “Oh no my friend’s boyfriend just broke up with her, she needs me.” Or the “My grandmother fell down the stairs”. Or for those of us without fear of hurting his feelings “Look I’m just gonna go now.”
Well we don’t mean to stare. We’re just trying to be polite and maintain eye contact..but then our mind wanders or we’re nervous and end up staring with an expression that looks like we ran into a frying pan.
We smile. We smile when we’re looking for the nearest exit. We smile when we’re really thinking whoever we are with really just insane and we smile when we’re having a good time. If there’s anything we have done on a date in spades, its smile.
12)Try and Weed Out DealBreakers
We all have deal breakers, things we will automatically stop the relationship if any of these are present. Sure there’s the biggies of drugs and abuse, but then there’s the fact that he thinks the men of Duck Dynasty should be canonized or that he uses Star Trek quotes in every conversation. So we always try and plant a few obvious but still obscure questions or tricks to try and see if any of those deal breakers are there.
13)Try and Sound Smarter
It never fails we’re on a date with a guy we really like or a guy who has seventeen doctorates and you just want to leave a good impression. But then we start saying things like Turkey is next to Madagascar and that the square root of 847 is really five, just because we’re trying to talk out of our comfort zone to sound smarter. Next time we’ll stick to whatever Jon Stewart talked about last night.
The truth is as women we don’t always arrive late because we’re trying to be fashionable or act like our time is more valuable. Nope it’s because we’re scattered brained, indecisive and can’t figure out which way is up because we have so much on our minds. Therefore after 30 wardrobe changes, traffic and missing the turn we’ve arrived late for more than one date.
15)Worn Something Uncomfortable
Whether it’s those high heels that cause blisters, the bra with the slightly exposed underwire or the itchy blouse that you can’t actually get out of by yourself, we’ve all worn something uncomfortable on a date. Then we inevitably spend the entire date trying to feel less uncomfortable and still enjoy the date. It rarely works out in our favor.